In December of 2020 there was a package sent to my home from Ulta Beauty. I was surprised because I had not ordered from Ulta Beauty. I told myself that it was the holiday season and there was a chance that a loved one sent me a gift. I brought the package inside, sat it under the 7 ft tree and continued on with my cold December day. A day or two went by and there was something that felt odd about the unexpected package under the tree. I retrieved the small box from under the tree and I looked closer at the name and the address. I realized that the name on the package and the address on the package was not for me. I imagine that the contents inside the package were correct and the address on the package was correct, yet the package was lost in the delivery process.
Like packages, it is not uncommon for messages to be lost in the delivery process. Gaps in communication often show up in the delivery process. Let's say you tell your teen-aged son that he can go out with his friends after school for pizza but he is to be home by 6:00 pm sharp because it is a school night. 6:00 pm comes, 6:30, and before you know it, it is 8:00 pm and you haven't heard from your 16 year-old son. Just as you're about to call him for the 10th time, he waltzes in at 8:03 pm grinning from ear to ear. He is smiling and you are frowning. You demand to know where he was, why he didn't answer, who he was with, which pizza place he went to, how he got home, what took him so long, why he didn't call, and how he could be so inconsiderate. His grin fades and he stammers over his responses. He becomes frustrated and he takes an exaggerated breath. You threaten him to drop his attitude and he responds that you had an attitude first. You tell your son that your attitude is justified because you are upset and concerned. He informs you that you do not sound concerned, just upset. You pause for a moment and assess your delivery. You realize that the root of your frustration is that you are concerned. However, your concern is wrapped in frustration and anger then delivered as such. As a result, the message that you were concerned about him is lost in the delivery.
These are some questions to consider when it comes to expressing feelings, needs, and preferences. What is happening in the delivery process? What is the message that you want to get across. What does the packaging entail? Lastly, if the mail is lost, are you interested in finding it? Being considerate of the delivery is one way to prevent a gap in communication.
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