What does soft life mean to you? There are a few words that come to mind when I hear the word soft. It sounds angelic, gentle, safe, vulnerable, patient, and loving. Soft offers a sense of ease and comfort. When I hear the word life words like experience, humanness, realm, time, birth, present, divine, and growth feel synonymous.
Urban Dictionary defines Soft Life as The act of simply living a life with less stress, worry, and concern. The phrase “soft life”has become increasingly popular over the last 2 years. Often times, “the soft life” is portrayed from a place of aesthetics. Pictures of the soft life display women prancing through flowers and men receiving facials. You may see people with the latest electronics and gadgets from Amazon inspired by Pinterest. We see hands free vacuums and trash cans. Convenience and comfort are often associated with the soft life. In May of 2023, the New York Times published an article that read that more people are purchasing premium seats when flying. As a result, first class is getting bigger. The soft life is thought to induce a certain level comfort around you. Let’s explore the soft life within you.
When considering the soft life around you, it can be helpful to consider what is going on within you. What is your current state of the mind. Is the mind a soft place? Is the mind gentle? Is the mind comfortable? Do you feel like your mind is a safe place? Or is your mind chaotic and operating like the controls on a cockpit? Are you hyper-vigilant and anxious? Is your nervous system calm? Carefully consider the answers to these questions. Creating a soft life starts in the mind.
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) tells us that thoughts influence behaviors. Things often appear in the mind before they appear anywhere else. This was especially true for me as I desired a “soft life” around me but within me, my mind was racing like Eddie Cheever at the Indy 500 in 1996. The idea behind my behavior was that I wanted to live comfortably. I convinced myself that the more I added to my plate, the more I would accomplish. The more I accomplished, the more I could acquire. I found myself hypnotically subscribing to the hustle and bustle culture. Being ambitious can serve a purpose however, there is something to be said about slowing down. There is something to be said about being gentle with myself. When I am gentle with myself, I can be more gentle with others. After fatigue and headache induced nausea, I realized that my approach to my goals were rooted in fear and not faith. I was afraid of what I believed would happen if I took my foot off the gas. At the speed I was going, my fear could have caused me to crash. I eased my foot off the gas. I chose to move forward in life at a reduced speed. That meant that I took my time starting my day. I made sure that I sat down for breakfast. I walked slower. I sang more. I set aside time to problem solve and time to rest. I accepted that I would do my best with what I could control and I would not obsess over the things that I could not. I prioritized a soft mind. I replaced worry with trust. I made the choice to intentionally increase my faith and decrease my fear.
It takes a lot of faith and courage to take your foot off the gas. It takes a lot of vulnerability to feel safe and secure enough to slow down. Sometimes we find refuge in believing that we are safer if we speed up. That if we increase the acceleration, then we will reach our destination faster 100% of the time. That if somehow, we add 11 things to our plate instead of one, then we will sure accomplish more in half the time. Sometimes that is true, especially if you’re a machine or automobile designed with the ability to carry 20+ passengers. It may seem inefficient to transport one individual at a time. The same logic does not apply to humans as we are not machines designed to wear 20 hats at once. There is a reason why we have one head.
Part of a soft life is being soft and gentle with yourself and those around you. It entails creating a safety in your own mind that you can have faith and trust in, and rely on. To help with this, consider what your nervous system needs to feel calm. Our nervous system aids in protecting us. The nervous system sends messages and signals throughout the body. Some messages are automatic and some are more voluntary. One way to create a soft life in the mind is to calm the nervous system. This can be done with relaxation techniques or with psychotherapy. Another way to create a soft life in the mind is by considering the environment. How does your environment impact the calm within you? Are there changes that can be made in the environment? If the answer is yes, make them. If the answer is no, consider what has to happen in order for changes to be made.
The soft life is more than just a highlight reel or a cool Instagram post. It involves navigating life unhurried. It also involves caring for the mind. Consider why you engage with life the way that you do. Explore your goals. Create a mind that you can safely turn to as needed. When you understand the roots, it is often easier to treat the tree.
May the softness in your mind be reflected in your environment.
Comments